The Domino Effect

Daily, I catch a snippet of the news throughout my neighborhood, the surrounding cities and the metropolitan city of Los Angeles. Either driving or riding the train, there appears to be a profound sense of sadness and dispair because of our economy, our justice system and yes, relationships. Within the last thirty days, I listened with great sadness to two separate tragic stories of two angry men who killed their ex-girlfriends and a male friend of hers. We hear regularly of love triangles, rejected lovers and affairs, but this particular story caught my interest for a number of reasons: I was curious as to the root cause that spurred both parties' anger; and I discovered in each tragic incident that I knew at least one of the persons who lost their lives. We may not ever know or even experience a dominoe effect from the root of a tragic instance as this one, but we can probably surmise the cause and effect without naming names because there is usually a similar scenario that goes back to the old testament in the Bible: A relationship begins, flourishes, goes sour, rejection, separation, hurt and anger.
How we mentally, spiritually and physically deal with these stages literally determine our destiny. Each situation, of course, is different, but how we handle ourselves affects so many people: family members, friends, neighbors, the city, law enforcement personnel. Let me explain:
Their deaths have caused the unspeakable pain for parents, children, brothers and sisters and friends. One murdered young man was an only child. His father was so distraught he couldn't bear to even attend the funeral. Imagine remembering holding a beautiful tiny baby, teaching him or her to walk, eat with a spoon and ride a bike, escorting them to class on their first day of school, watching them graduate with pride, and then having a stranger or angry person take it all away? Neighbors are shocked and saddened that their lives have been disrupted. Children are traumatized and experience nightmares. Law enforcement personnel work overtime, and usually require post traumatic counseling as well as a leave of absence, and city statistics are immediately changed by mandatory law - a murder took place in its jurisdiction so its index and rankings are immediately affected.
All of this from a relationship gone bad. What is the answer? There is no one good answer because it depends on the individual. When a person becomes so consumed with another, they take away from themselves and that may just be the root. Themselves. Loving yourself, regardless of the hurt and pain another bestows upon you may just be the key, or the start of walking away from a relationship that is headed in another direction. Giving reverence to God, and then placing yourself in that second spot in your heart, or just loving the heck out of yourself, may make the pain of a broken relationship a lot easier to absorb, evaluate, and then move on.